When God Shows-Up

With October and November passing all too quickly, I feel like I am coming home after a long trip as I write here.  My head and hands have been working steadily, preparing for my very first Dandelion Studio Open House which took place in my home last Friday.  Having had December 5th planted in the back of my mind for weeks, I am enjoying just being in the present now that my deadline has come and gone.

I worried bit last week.  I worried that I did not have enough variety to sell.  And, as several friends called to express their regrets over not being able to attend, I worried that the turn-out would be small.  That all my preparations would be done in vain.  I worried about not being a “success.”

I have learned a lot in my 40+ years of living, though, and one of the biggest and hardest lessons learned is that worry is nothing but an energy vampire.  That said, I willed myself to focus on what I could control and began the process of surrendering “success” to God.  I sat down with my “to do” list and plugged everything that needed to be done before Friday into my planner.  Items priced.  Bathrooms cleaned.  Floors vacuumed.  Food prepared.  Displays arranged.  And when my head hit the pillow each night, I prayed.  I prayed that God’s presence might be felt in my home and that each person who walked through our door that Friday evening would feel loved and welcome.  Because  love always wins.  Every. Single. Time.

The turn-out did end-up being smaller than I had hoped; however, it was okay.  A steady stream of friends arrived with smiles on their faces and joy in their hearts.  And, as our friend, John, began to strum his guitar fireside in the background, I knew that God showed-up, too.  With tears in her eyes, one friend gently held a handmade ornament in her hand, saying that it touched her heart when she read the tag, “Love Wins.”  In a necklace pendant, another found a talisman of hope to offer a hurting friend.  One person felt drawn to a piece of my art only to find-out that it was inspired by her favorite place to stop and meditate in the woods, which happens to be mine, too.  Family connections were discovered between my girlfriend’s father and my dad.

As I witnessed these connections being made throughout the evening, I realized that God knew exactly what I needed to take away from this open house.  Not big numbers of people or huge amounts of sales, but a true understanding of success.  A heart open to God.

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The Gift of Autism

“Slow-down,” I tell my boy.  He is talking fast.  With great animation, he explains the neighborhood that he is drawing, bold marker lines quickly scrawled around and between the houses – Christmas lights!  Our boy’s speech and demeanor mirror the exhilaration of the holiday season.

In years past, I found myself approaching the Christmas season with uneasiness, even a sense of dread.  While the hustle and bustle of the holidays brings out the excitement in the best of us, for a child with autism, the very things that we associate with this joyful time of the year can quickly produce too much stimulation.  And, with too much stimulation,   bouts of wild hyperactivity, anxiety and  intense meltdowns have a way of wreaking havoc on a household throughout the whole season.  As you might guess, these types of behaviors are not conducive to feeling the holiday spirit!

I am learning from my boy, though.  He is teaching ME to slow-down.  I carefully consider my yeses for the season and graciously  say no to the unnecessary.  I say yes to Christmas shopping early and online, affording the gift of more time and less exposure to the frenzied energy of crowded stores.  Slowing-down also means that I enjoy feasting my eyes on the festive lights and greenery donning our neighbor’s homes while being content with keeping things simple at our house –  needle point stockings hung on the mantle, a  pre-lit Christmas tree decorated by my little ones, an heirloom manger scene and a spiral wooden Advent wreath marking Mary’s journey to Bethlehem.  We are also saying yes to a  trip on the Santa train, my husband’s work party, a play (something special just for my husband and me!), a family gathering and the Christmas Eve service at church.  As we make these choices to say yes or no, we are honoring the needs of our family and allowing room to breathe, to be fully present in the moment.

In the act of slowing-down, are the holidays perfect at our house? No.  My boy and girl still fight over whose turn it is to open the doors to our Advent book each evening and who gets to move Mary towards Bethlehem on her donkey.  And, I still have to remind myself to take a deep breath as our boy talks fast and they both romp through the house.  The difference comes in the form of a more relaxed mom – A mom who is better able to respond to her children in a calmer, more rational manner.   In learning how to set the stage for more grace-filled moments and less tension, I am better able to keep the joy in the season!

Thank you, God, for giving me this gift of my son who needs me to slow-down.  For, in the slowing-down, I find the peace and calm where Your Son, Jesus, is born.