And the day came when the risk it took to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.

-Anais Nin

I just finished a post that said exactly what I wanted to say, hit preview, and most of it disappeared.  So timely for this post!  My heart dropped for a second there and then I had to smile at the irony.  That said, I am not going to try to rewrite everything just as I had it written and just go with the flow because that is what this post is all about.

The quote at the beginning of this post pretty much sums-up where I am with my writing right now.  I found this quote in a cute little art stall at a beach art festival (I love those!) this summer and it spoke to me.  Some of you might remember my journey last year with my creative coach Amy.  With her help, I spent most of the Spring months trying to uncover the artist within me, peeling away layers that I had built-up over the years and doing things that were both fun and scary all at the same time.  It was glorious chaos and that is just how I feel right now about my new journey in writing.  I am committing myself to writing without editing my thoughts for the next six-weeks.

I know you must be wondering how this decision came to be, so I will tell you.  Yesterday, I started taking a writing class called, “Finding Your Voice” and came away truly humbled.  While I consider myself to be a decent writer, I listened to my classmates reading their own work and, as one man said, “I [felt] like I needed to take my shoes off because I [was] standing on holy ground.”  These writers wowed me with beautiful imagery, made me laugh with their candidness, and just made me want to hear more.  At the same time, I kept thinking to myself, “Man!  My work is as bland as oatmeal…Pollyanna, here I come!”  I walked away from class yesterday wanting what they had –  just like that famous line in When Harry Met Sally, the one in the restaurant, where one customer is watching Sally fake an orgasm right there at the table and she tells the waitress, “I’ll have what she’s having!”

Now, the things I have been writing here over the past year have been truthful and I certainly have revealed bits of myself that you might not have known.  I really am the quiet-natured, kind Kristin that you have come to know.  At the same time, I know that there is a color and texture to my life that I don’t feel has been coming through in my writing.  Somehow, in an effort to look spiritual (and, I really am spiritual), I feel like I’ve edited out parts of the real me.  What I really mean to say is that I am more comfortable showing you my spiritual side, my good girl side, than my imperfect side, the side that can be kind of funny and quirky – dorky!

All that said, for the next six-weeks I plan to write from my heart without editing my thoughts.  The only time I might edit is for grammar or spelling or if I have written something that is just too sensitive to share.  I apologize, in advance, for digressions, repetition, fragments, and anything other than “pretty” writing.  In exchange, I hope to share a little bit more of the real me, behind the scenes, just like we’re sitting across the table sharing over coffee.  I will  write about whatever is going on in my life or I might use a prompt.  If there is something, in particular, that you would like me to write about, throw-it out there in the comment section, and I just might bite!

 

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